a wednesday post

I know I haven't been blogging much lately. I just haven't been in the mood. But I acknowledge that I really hate when my favorite bloggers get lazy and I click on their blogs day after day in a fruitless attempt to find something new and entertaining.
Right Joe?

Of course, I'm being egotistical to the point that I'm assuming some people out there consider me one of their favorite bloggers.
RAWR.

Since work has been delightfully busy and I haven't had time to write the past few weeks, I'm just going to do a quick, lazy-ass, no-main-theme, random post:

OK – I'm determined not to dwell on it, but I really hate men. Seriously. Things have begun to change a bit in my head over the past few months, and I guess I've just started to expect a little more from them. Or maybe just want a little more from my interactions with them.
The problem is that they didn't get the memo.

So last weekend I decided to just enjoy the company of my friends and a few shots of tequila and just let nature take its course. No worries.
Friday night I had a great time, met a couple cool new people, whatev.
However, on Saturday night my libido kicked in. That always gets me into trouble. Well, lately, gets me downright frustrated. Anyway, I was with my two buds and one of them introduced me to an acquaintance of his. My two buds eventually left, and me and the acquaintance kept hanging out. He was a really interesting guy – and friggin' cute – AND single, but recently went through a break-up. So we got to know each other and even filthy-talked a little bit, but he was clear about the fact that he wasn't completely over his ex. And I was fine with that. I mean, at least he was nice and smart and fun to talk to. And seemingly had feelings. But then, when he was leaving, he gave me a hug goodbye, felt my stomach, and said, "Oh. You have a gut."
Yep.
I don't think he could have said anything else at that moment that would have sucked more. I'm so hypersensitive about my gut right now. I know it's stupid and irrational and there are so many more important things to worry about in this short life but…what can I say? It hurt my feelings.
I went home and collapsed on my bed and stared at the ceiling. A torrential downpour outside would have been a nice touch, but I can still manage to wallow in dry weather.

Well, this weekend I’m not going to be dwelling on douchebag men because my parents are going to be in town. I really like when my parents come to town, especially because they don't stay with me. We get to do a lot of shopping, good eating, sight-seeing, maybe take in a show or baseball game or whatever. Nice and easy.

I've restructured my reality show viewing while my favs are on hiatus. You know what I'm watching now? Project Runway and Big Brother. I've never watched either of them before. Big Bro is OK, I guess. Kind of slow and pointless. Good-looking people though! OMG – Howie's nipples alone are reason enough to watch. Project Runway seems pretty sweet. I'd always heard a lot of good things about it. Plus it seems to be constantly running on either Bravo or NBC, so I figure it'll be pretty hard to miss an episode.

I really meant to see a lot of movies this summer. I even have a list of the ones I want to see: The Devil Wears Prada, Superman, Strangers with Candy, and a couple others. I almost went to see Superman alone on Sunday night, but then decided to stay home and drink a bottle of wine and feel sorry for myself. I'm supposed to be going to The Devil Wears Prada with L. and the Bahamas girls on Sunday. That should be pretty funny.

I was sick as a DOG last week. Monday I came down with some sort of psycho chest cold, and by Friday it had totally morphed into the nastiest head cold in recorded history. And unfortunately I had this lame presentation skills conference to attend all day Friday at the Hyatt. I totally felt like death warmed over and could barely focus my eyes and silence the pounding in my head, let alone learn something. The only joy of my day was freaking out the poor sucker sitting next to me with my constant coughing and sneezing and sniffling and blowing of my nose. And getting La Salsa for lunch.

Well, I think that's about enough for now. I really do have a ton of work to do, so I better get back to it. Then I have to go home and clean up my place real sparkly-like for the parents. Then meet P. for a couple drinks on a patio somewhere.

Hope everyone is doing well.

my bullshit weekend

I had high hopes for my weekend. But everything seemed to turn out all wrong.

Friday:
On my way to work I bumped into the hot guy from my building. We've hung out a couple times since he overheard me baby-talking to my cat last spring, and I do believe we've gotten past the awkwardness of it. I even gave him a ride home from the bar one night, although nothing happened. He said he would call me to meet up somewhere that night. I, of course, was giddy.

While I was getting ready to go out that night I got a text from an acquaintance whom I spent some time with two weekends ago. We even had a quasi-date (that was actually caused by me accidentally pulling a "leave-behind" of my watch on his bedroom floor) last week that strictly involved talking and getting to know each other and no hanky-panky. The text asked me what I was up to, if I wanted to hang out, blah blah blah. I, of course, was giddy.
At that point I had two quality prospects!

When I got to the bar I find out from my buddy that the text I had received had been a cheesy group text message. I never heard from my neighbor.
Cut to me sitting alone in front of my T.V. at 3 a.m.

Saturday:
I was invited to a pub crawl by one of my friends. It started late-afternoon. Now, I foolishly assumed that pub crawl meant traveling from one air-conditioned bar to the next and getting pleasantly drunk. Turns out it meant taking a walking tour of LoDo in 105 degree heat and stopping for one drink in the first couple of hours. I was stunned. And sober. And sweaty as hell.

But I felt a little better when a guy I'd spent most of Pride Sunday hanging out with texted me asking what I was up to. I said I needed a cold drink and he said to meet him at the Wrangler. So I did, and then spent over an hour watching him shamelessly flirt with someone else while basically ignoring me. And I did see one really good-looking guy standing by himself, but was too shy to approach him…or maybe at that point my spirit was broken?

Sunday:
Determined to end my weekend without the distraction and stress of any more gay bullshit I did some reading in the park, worked out super hard, and then met one of my straight buddies at Gov's Park for dinner. Our waitress was one of those super-friendly, jolly types who actually sits down with you, chit-chats, has a few laughs, etc.
That is she WAS, until I complained about the chicken on my pomegranate chicken salad. It was disgusting. It was completely overcooked and looked like an autopsy. You couldn't even poke a fork through it.
Seriously – she switched on her cold, pissed-off bitch personality immediately. She angrily yanked the plate away and ignored us the rest of the time we were there, even when our beers had been empty for 20 minutes. She only stopped by again to drop off the bill. PSYCHO.
So, in an attempt to salvage the last shreds of my lame-ass, pathetic weekend I went home and put in the Nip/Tuck DVD I had just rented that afternoon. It immediately started freezing and skipping.
That was it.
I gave up and went to bed at 9:00.

TA-DA! Matt's bullshit weekend!

snack time!

Jesus christ.
At about 11:00 my blood sugar level completely bottomed out, but instead of going for something really bad for my love handles I decided to eat some pea pods.
The bag says "Washed & Ready to Eat Stringless Sugar Snap Peas – A Preservative Free Naturally Sweet Snack."
Well. I think they're just a little full of themselves.
And son of a bitch if I didn't almost choke on one – seriously – and then bite THE HELL out of my lip while chewing on another.

I think I'm going to have Steak Escape complete with greasy fries for lunch.
Just to be on the safe side.

yo!

Hey all – I haven't been around for over a week now because I've been out cruising around this great country of ours. And - if I ever express the desire to take a road trip ever again I want someone to hold me down and slap some goddamn sense into me.
JESUS.
I don't think I'll be able to get into a car again for at least another six months.
Especially since I almost hit a deer AND a cat and about 6,000 pheasants and some douche literally came within feet of decimating me in South Dakota and I had to drive through five separate torrential downpours on Interstate 80 yesterday and almost hydroplaned myself into oblivion.
FUCKSTICK.

I'm hoping I'll be able to get Hello working again because I have some really cute pictures of Pride weekend and also some goddamn ADORABLE pictures of my niece. Although I only realized last night after I'd gotten home that I didn't take a single pic of the two of us together.
Anyway, she'll be four in September and she is just the best person I've ever interacted with. She's just a little lovebug, but still has a bit of my family's trademark sassmouth which makes her fun and not too lovey-cheesy.

So Barney alerted me to the fact that Get Real Denver linked to me. Sweet! Now I'll have to keep my eye out more than ever for those crazy Real World kids. And I'll try to write something a little more juicy than "Duh – I walked by the hot Real World guy. Duuuuh."
I'll try to grab his ass!
Mm-kay?

PS – It was just my bday so be sure to send me many happy bday wishes please.
And buy me a tequila shot if you happen to be in Denver!
*Muah!*