fun with silly e-mails

(i.e. I should be busy working, but L. is WAY more entertaining than writing architectural case studies)
(i.i.e. the extraordinary healing power of my e-mails)


The last e-mail I received today was at 11:12 a.m. I haven't received another e-mail since then. Interesting e-mails make life worth living. They break up the monotony that is my work life.

Please, please god – let me receive an e-mail soon.
Like now.
Or…right now.
Nothing.
Why has god abandoned me?

Let me revisit a recent e-mail exchange with L.:

Matt: Are you feeling better today? I hope it wasn't my cold you caught! Especially because I still feel like ass two weeks later...


L: i feel better, but not great. i don't think it's your nasty cold...feels more like a mild form of the flu. either way, i don't want to be sick!!!

guess what? that boy from *** (who we met at the art show) isn't you know what! i had my friend get the scoop and she said she thinks he actually has a thing for the blondie we were talking with for awhile. bummer, huh? so now i feel like he may have been flirting with me and not you when he was showing us his piece...er, um, his art piece of course.

it's difficult with both of us being so attractive because it's hard to tell who's being hit on by who. :)


Matt: DANG. I guess the old gaydar was off on that little cutie. Funny...I was pretty sure. Still, with those young ones you can never really be sure. Seems like kids will sleep with anything these days.

I've been thinking about that *** guy who used to work here that we met at the show. He wasn't my usual type, but I loved his dry sense of humor and his accent. And the fact that he despised *** when he worked here. I couldn't get a clear reading on him, though. He kept touching me when he would walk by, and then he asked for my card so he could e-mail me.

God, I'm so desperate and pathetic and hungry for love!

And it IS a very heavy burden that we have to carry. Everyone wishes they could be hot and charming and stylish, but they don't realize how much work it actually can be on a day-to-day basis...


L: touché my hot-a$$ friend.

and i think you should just email *** instead of waiting on him to touch you...i mean get in touch with you. say something like, 'it was great meeting you and i was serious about you letting me know if you ever are in need of some marketing expertise, or anything else for that matter.'


Matt: Good idea! I only got his bro's business card, though, not his. Still, I could probably look it up online. And then maybe we could have gay babies???

OMG - I totally forgot to tell you what happened this morning. I was meeting with *** and *** to prepare for the big masterplanning conference we're hosting next week, and I opened up my Lab Book to take some notes (the one I used at the marketing conference we went to).
And of course I opened it right up to the page where I had written Matt + C.J. inside a big heart, with that "Do you want to hump? Yes/No" thing at the bottom.
I know they both looked right at it because we were standing around one of those big white pod thingies, but they just sort of glanced at each other and neither said anything. Embarrassing!!!


L: cj's going to ruin your life and he doesn't even know about it! your emails are making me laugh, which is making me feel much better, so thanks.


Matt: OH NO! My love for C.J. is going to end up completely destroying me!!
Damn his tall, dark good looks and festive red polo shirt that shows off his burly forearms!!!


L: but let's not forget about his bad black frankenstein shoes and pleated khaki pants...or are we supposed to forget about those ugly little details so he lives forever in our minds as the hottie we needed him to be for us that day???


Matt: Ahhh - no!
I'd finally just gotten myself to forget about those damn pleats!
I HAVE to, dammit!

sake-t to me baby

OK – I'm way, way too busy at work right now to be wasting time on a post, but I could use the therapeutic release.
(Heh heh – I sound REALLY important, right? OHH! Look at me – I'm Mr. Busy Marketing Guy! Out of my way suckas!)

Anyway, first I've got a few comments on miscellaneous mass media topics:

* I love, love, love Thirty Rock. It is ever-so-amazing and I would switch teams for Tina Fey. Well, I least want to be her best friend and have tickle-fights with her.

* I love, love, love Borat. I haven't ever laughed that hard at a movie. I want to naked-wrestle Borat!

* I went to see Running With Scissors which is one of my favorite books.
I almost puked in horror. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible and a total disservice to the book.
Read the book. Don't gaze directly at the movie.

* One of my absolute favorite people ever has died – Ed Bradley. Seriously – I've always dreamed about who I'd want to interview me if I would ever become famous and there are really only two people: Barbara Walters or Ed Bradley. And now Mr. Bradley is gone. And Barbara ain't no spring chicken so I better hurry up and become famous or else it's stupid Diane Sawyer for me.


Work has been absolutely crazy for the past few weeks. Three major proposals were handed off to me last Thursday, and of course I promptly woke up with a virulent stomach flu on Friday morning.
Of course, being the stud that I am, I valiantly attempted to come into work anyway – "No…time…to…be…sick! Must…get….to………..WORK!" – but by 11:00 I realized I am just a normal man after all and dragged my sick ass back home. And I got sick as a dog. It was nas-tay. I was so sad and felt so sorry for myself. No one to take care of poor, dehydrated Matt, who couldn't even bear to take a sip of water. And there was nothing on T.V. at 7:00 except for "Mama's Family," which actually isn't that bad of a show. And Bubba is hot and his package is huge.

I came into work on Sunday to start catching up and it feels like I haven't left since, except for brief periods to get a few hours of sleep.
Then my mom called me crying on Monday. My mom has only called me crying three times: once when my grandma died; once when my grandpa died; and the first year I lived in Denver when she had to have my childhood dog put to sleep. Turns out my parents' dog is full of cancer and has stopped eating. He's only six and he's the best dog ever. Poor little Einstein.

So last night I had no choice but to go out to Sushi Sasa with L. and drink tons and tons of hot sake and big, huge Japanese beers. And I have to say – it snapped me out of my funk!
Well, at least until I got into work this morning and was attacked by a pack of Principals with a whole new round of work for me.