Tuesday, October 31, 2006

what in the hell is the deal with matt???

That seems like a valid question to lead off this post.
Well, I decided about a month ago to end the blog.
I had multiple reasons for my decision, but was having trouble writing the final entry and just letting go.
Since the last time I posted until about twenty minutes ago I've had absolutely no desire at all to write or post. None.

I will say that life has felt pretty tough and gnarly almost all of October. There's not one overall reason I can point to, although going to a family member's funeral doesn't exactly tend to brighten up your month. I think a hyperawareness of death has caused me to want to retreat into my own private world, while at the same time my social schedule has been very full the past few weeks so I've had to suck it up and get my antisocial ass out there in the world.
Also, the cold I caught almost a month ago has really hung in there in my chest. I still sometimes have gravelly, sexy sick-man voice. And lots of nasty morning phlegm. *HACK*

But!
Since about a week and a half ago I've felt better than I've felt in a LONG time. Again, no one overall reason, but it's a big relief. So…here are some random updates:

Halloween has been awesome. Two Fridays ago I went to a haunted house and got fucking freaked out. I am no good with haunted houses. Even mildly cheesy ones.
Last week my office decorated Halloween cookies for Project Angel Heart. I think I'm going to start volunteering for them on a more regular basis.
Last Thursday I went to a pumpkin carving party, where L. and I collaborated on the craziest goddamn pumpkin you've ever seen. And yet somehow we won second place! She's also a marketer so we attributed our win to our ability to market anything – even a sketchy, crazy-ass pumpkin.
And then on Saturday I went to a big gay Halloween party. I was Will Ferrell from the "More Cowbell" SNL sketch. I looked hot.
I'm not sure what tonight holds. I'm meeting some folks at Steubens for a drink, then maybe hitting the Uptown Tavern. But I'm not getting dressed up in my costume again. That moment has come and gone.

La Salsa on 17th & Stout closed without warning. I'm really not prepared to live my life without the possibility of La Salsa for lunch at least three times a week. I know there is at least one more La Salsa somewhere out there in the Denver-metro area, but that really doesn't do me a whole lot of good.

I've just started spending time with someone who I think I could potentially like a whole lot. He falls into my usual pattern of dating guys way younger than me, but he seems really mature and put together and…well, I'm not going to get ahead of myself here.
He invited me to his place on Saturday night after the bar had closed, and the poor guy had had WAY too much to drink. So he started puking about every five minutes. I eventually got him quieted down and tucked into bed and went home alone at around 4 a.m. Still, I find it quite encouraging that I viewed the whole situation in a very light-hearted, caretaking kind of way instead of being totally annoyed and disgusted by it.

I had another strange situation occur with a guy I just met a couple weeks ago. We were introduced at a party, and he just kept staring at me. It took me about two minutes to figure out he totally has a crush on me. And he seems really nice, but here's the thing: his face looks EXACTLY like my cousin's wife's face. They're identical. And that is just too fucking weird.

Daylight savings is bullshit.

I'm going to early voting tomorrow. I've never voted outside of a presidential election before, but there are a couple issues on the ballot that could seriously affect my life as a gay man. Even if it seems extremely unlikely at this point in my life, there is a chance that I'll be in a domestic partnership someday.

4 Comments:

Blogger Actions and Consequences said...

I emailed you about a week ago.. about a week ago you started feeling better.
Quawinkidinky? I THINK NOT!

where are the pictures of the party?

8:02 AM  
Blogger hot babe said...

Seriously, if you're returning to the blog sphere, then you have to come visit me in it because I need me some Matty.

Kisses!

Oh, and you know what i think you need to keep you out of a funk? That's right. More cowbell.

4:09 PM  
Blogger d-town said...

glad to hear things are moving in a positive direction on more than one front. except for the la salsa thing. if we were to ever lose baja fresh in dupont circle, i would flip my shit. we have plenty of chipotles, so i don't think i'm in danger of losing those. oh, and they opened up a moe's in the district ... ah, a reminder of atlanta, where there's one every few blocks.

i so wish i was voting in Maryland or Virginia so i could take part in the senate races in one of the two states, but alas, i'm in DC, and our elections (what little we vote for) were decided in the democratic primary back in september.

go big blue!

8:36 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Freaky.

I thought about doing the Cowbell as a costume as well.

I had seen that you hadn't updated in a while, but I figured the funeral probably had something to do with it.

A friend of mine died the week before Thanksgiving last year, so I might be in the same boat with the anniversary of it this year.

Best wishes!

3:57 PM  

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