downtown landmines
Watch out if you happen to be walking around downtown Denver this afternoon my friends.
For starters, the D.A.R.E. table is out on the Mall. I had assumed that D.A.R.E. had gone the way of Hypercolor t-shirts and Saved By the Bell except for those super cool people who still wear the t-shirt in an ironic way that had its day back in the 90's, but I was oh-so-wrong. And let me tell you – the D.A.R.E. of 2006 is aggressive. These days D.A.R.E. screams at you to come over to their sad little table. I managed to completely avoid them today on my lunch break, but a few weeks ago I wasn't so lucky when I was walking home and came upon them stationed outside Office Depot.
D.A.R.E. Girl: Hey – come over here!
(I turn up my iPod)
D.A.R.E. Girl: HELLO – sir! Do you have a moment to stop by our table?
Me: No, I couldn't possibly. I actually like to do drugs.
D.A.R.E. Girl: Ha - that's OK! Come on over!
Me: No, seriously, I try to get kids hooked on drugs.
D.A.R.E. Girl: Oh you! Come here silly!!!
OK – I actually didn't say that I get kids hooked on drugs, but I did say the first part and it didn't faze her a bit. Not one bit. Crazy anti-drug bitch.
Today there are also crazed packs of teenagers with wicked-looking forms randomly stopping people on the Mall for god-knows-what reason. I was avoiding the packs like live landmines. I saw one guy trapped in the middle of the Mall curled up on a chair with a dazed look on his face surrounded by five kids. Poor bastard. He never had a chance.
Two girls snagged me in front of Republic Plaza. I pretended to be a busy business executive (hey – its' not a total stretch of the imagination) – I furrowed my brow intensely, glanced at my watch, and barked out "I'm on my way to an important business meeting!"
Heh heh. Burly.
For starters, the D.A.R.E. table is out on the Mall. I had assumed that D.A.R.E. had gone the way of Hypercolor t-shirts and Saved By the Bell except for those super cool people who still wear the t-shirt in an ironic way that had its day back in the 90's, but I was oh-so-wrong. And let me tell you – the D.A.R.E. of 2006 is aggressive. These days D.A.R.E. screams at you to come over to their sad little table. I managed to completely avoid them today on my lunch break, but a few weeks ago I wasn't so lucky when I was walking home and came upon them stationed outside Office Depot.
D.A.R.E. Girl: Hey – come over here!
(I turn up my iPod)
D.A.R.E. Girl: HELLO – sir! Do you have a moment to stop by our table?
Me: No, I couldn't possibly. I actually like to do drugs.
D.A.R.E. Girl: Ha - that's OK! Come on over!
Me: No, seriously, I try to get kids hooked on drugs.
D.A.R.E. Girl: Oh you! Come here silly!!!
OK – I actually didn't say that I get kids hooked on drugs, but I did say the first part and it didn't faze her a bit. Not one bit. Crazy anti-drug bitch.
Today there are also crazed packs of teenagers with wicked-looking forms randomly stopping people on the Mall for god-knows-what reason. I was avoiding the packs like live landmines. I saw one guy trapped in the middle of the Mall curled up on a chair with a dazed look on his face surrounded by five kids. Poor bastard. He never had a chance.
Two girls snagged me in front of Republic Plaza. I pretended to be a busy business executive (hey – its' not a total stretch of the imagination) – I furrowed my brow intensely, glanced at my watch, and barked out "I'm on my way to an important business meeting!"
Heh heh. Burly.
posted by denverco at 12:14 PM
5 Comments:
'D.A.R.E. - Drugs Are Really Expensive'
I have seen people with petitions on my way home, but the deadline passed, so maybe it's a poll?
I like to see DARE being more aggressive. Maybe it could have saved even you if it had been this aggressive back in the day.
can you get me one of their tshirts? We never had D.A.R.E.
anytime anyone tries to stop me in this town, i just blow right by them, ipod on or not. they always want your money, time, or both. trust me, if i needed/wanted what you were hawking, i'd seek it out on my own ...
We didn't have DARE in my school. We had something called CounterACT...all I remember is that, at 12, I thought the teen telling how he became a raging alcolholic was cute and he had awesome hair. No wonder I turned in to a lush....such role models.
Post a Comment
<< Home