Thursday, March 30, 2006

the weekend, vol.4

Sunday my big plan was to go lie in the park and get some sun, but even though it looked really nice and sunny outside it was all a big scam because once I stepped outside I realized the wind was about 82 m.p.h. and it was colder than a witch's tit. So what did I do? I just drove and drove, of course! I drove over to the University of Denver and past the first apartment I lived in - which was a total nightmare shithole. I got the strangest feeling looking up at the sad little second-story window that looks out from the shower over the dirty alley, remembering what my life was like six years ago when I lived there in that nightmare shithole where I was horribly homesick every day for at least a year and wanted to kill myself at least once or twice a week from grad school overload.

(A quick aside: Why people ever think it's a good idea to put a window in the shower I have no idea. I've had two apartments like that here in Denver. Maybe I'm a prude, but I don't want windows anywhere NEAR my shower. I'm sorry, but I'm a lady and a lady just keeps certain things to herself. Ha – unless it's late at night in the backroom of a gay bar!)

I was going to go to the Wrangler beer bust around 4:30, but when I drove by and saw approximately 742 thirsty fags standing in line I said fuck it and went to JR's instead. Things were much calmer there and I was able to get my drink on in the way god intended. Plus the all-you-can-drink glass is $2 cheaper.
The only negative part of the afternoon was shot time. Larry was giving out shots right and left, but they were Depth Chargers – extra-heavy on the Jager. HARF!!
I turned down the first couple he tried to shove into my face, but I was eventually shamed into doing them by everyone around me calling me a pussy.
I seriously felt like I was going to instantly puke. I could not get that taste out of my mouth.
I can still vaguely feel the evil in my body.
And, hence, Jager has moved up a spot on my enemies list.
I was back home by 8:00 and my tentative plan was to get to bed nice and early, but instead I ended up inviting my new Wrangler make-out buddy to come over and play.
So…yada, yada, yada – let's just say I was REALLY tired on Monday. But in a content, post-sex kind of way.

The end.


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