back with a vengeance

OK – it's been far too long since I've whipped up one of my crazy-long, random thoughts posts. So put on your reading glasses, grab a refreshing beverage, settle in and get comfortable!

My thoughts on TV right now:
* I was going to make a concerted effort to watch American Idol this season. Why – I don't know. But it is now apparent to me that it's just way too much work. Is it just me, or is this show on for hours and hours and hours every week? I make it through maybe one or two performances and then I get bored and start wondering what else is on. And it's not like you're able to watch the performances and then get some instant gratification by seeing someone get kicked off. Nope. You have to tune in some other night and watch that douchebag Ryan Seacrest hem and haw and procrastinate for hours before anything happens.
On the other hand, I am in love with Ace. So there's always that.
* I've fallen off watching Desperate Housewives. I still like it, but lately I've been out and about on Sunday nights. And I can always catch Sunday's Sopranos when it repeats on Wednesday. So I have no clue what's going on with that show.
* The Sopranos is back and I couldn't be happier. One of my favorite shows ever. Nuff said.
* Prison Break is back too and yes – I will be watching it every week. Even though I know my I.Q. drops an average of ten to twenty points every time I do. But…Wentworth Miller!
* I'm trying to decide whom to root for on The Amazing Race. I can't help but be drawn to those hot, cocky Florida boys, although they are the antithesis of everything I believe in and stand for. But I like a healthy ego. What can I say?
I think at this point I'm tentatively throwing my support behind the hippies.
* And in a testament to my sad, short attention span, I can barely remember what's up with Survivor because it wasn't on last week. I can say that there are a lot of really good-looking men this season, though. I must also mention that they're doing very well at voting off the dogs and the women. They got rid of the skeleton-woman, the skeleton-astronaut, and, um…who else? I don't know. Other unattractive people.
* Don’t get me wrong – I still like Lost, but… I don't know. I wasn't very enthused about it last night. Maybe it's because there haven't been many new episodes lately? I pray I haven't lost my hard-on for it.


Driving makes me crazy. Absolutely crazy. I can't believe the amount of road rage pouring out of me considering I've only been behind the wheel again for about a month. People in Denver drive like shit. I'm stunned at how inconsiderate people are. And shocked that way more people aren't ending up dead.
At some point I want to write a post about life as a full-time pedestrian. Other than rides from friends, a few cabs here and there, and the Mall Ride I walked everywhere for three years. And my life was regularly in danger from bullshit drivers.
Let me just say one thing. Pedestrians have the right-of-way. All the time. And even if someone is being retarded and is walking where they shouldn't at a moment when they shouldn't just give them the fucking right-of-way. You're in a car for christ's sake. You have heat and/or A/C and tunes and a soft comfy seat and you're probably going to get wherever you're headed a lot faster than the pedestrian. So chill.
And stop fucking running red lights – I can't tell you how many times that was almost the end of me.

I am an e-vite bitch! Honestly, I am getting e-vites right and left. This weekend I'm hitting a prom-themed 30th birthday party (and I've got a wicked-cheesy, tux-like outfit all lined up), but I'm also invited to a pub crawl up Broadway and a going-away party in LoDo. Saturday I'm attending an engagement party at the Mercury Café and I'm also invited to a birthday party at some bar on Colfax.
And that's just this weekend!
Dude.
I tell ya, being popular is so much more fun than being lame and unpopular.
And trust me – I've been both.

I have a "date" tonight. I mean, I think it's a date. I'm not sure, exactly. Some guy randomly wrote me on connexions and introduced himself, and then we bumped into each other on St. Patrick's Day when we were both drunk. Then he asked if I wanted to meet for a drink tonight. And I thought, "Why not?"
What have I got to lose? I'm not sure whether or not there will be any making out. Hopefully at least a little over-the-clothes groping.
He's actually the second guy to ask me out on connexions in the past couple weeks. The other guy is a friend of a friend, but we haven't made any definite plans yet because he's been away on spring break.
Maybe my gay stock is rising. Maybe I won't die alone!

I'm off the coffee again! Phew. What a goddamn bitch-monkey. I'm at exactly six days. I really don't think there's anything particularly wrong with drinking coffee, but when you feel like you have to have it every day by 9 a.m. or else your world will come crashing down and you may slash a coworker's throat, you may have a bit of a problem. So instead I'm trying to get a good-night's sleep as often as possible, I'm hitting the Emer'gen-C (which I LOVE and drink regularly anyway) and the green tea, and I'm checking my attitude. That's right suckers. Attitude check! I try not to get so incredibly angry when coworkers think I'm interested in hearing about their mortgage payment for their bullshit house in the suburbs or their weekend shenanigans involving a 40-something straight woman, too much alcohol, and a late-night makeout session out in the suburbs.
*yawn* Coffee really makes everything better.

Hmm – just a random tip here:
When you see an acquaintance at a party who you haven't seen in about eight to nine months, who is now busting-out pregnant, don't say, "Oh my god – either you've gotten really, really fat or I need to congratulate you!" I don't know what possessed me to say that. I was stoned at the time, but come ON. Everyone in the kitchen turned and looked at me like I'd just taken a huge shit on the table right next to the cous cous.
And then later I referred to her and her husband as breeders, which she seemed to find somewhat amusing, but not so much her husband.
I'm sorry - pregnant people make me nervous.

I've been thinking about whitening my teeth. You know, because I'm such a perfect angel now who doesn't smoke and doesn't drink coffee.
Crest Whitestripes? Has anyone used them? They just seem so damn expensive.

So…I've bumped into a couple people who I've never told about my blog who have randomly found it. Because, seriously, I tell NO ONE about it. Two of my friends here in Denver know about it, and my friends in Minneapolis, and some cool people scattered across the U.S. who are nice enough to leave comments and link to me – but that's it.
Yesterday I stopped by the little market by my apartment complex and when I walked out there were two ladies having a smoke across the street and one waved at me. And I'm pretty sure I've never seen her before in my life. And now I'm convinced she knew me from my blog. Which is hot, but also weirds me out a little bit. Because I'm a freak and no stranger should be subjected to my rambling thoughts.
I'm sure I'm just being paranoid...
But if I'm right, hello mystery lady! Sorry I gave you that "who the fuck are you??" look.

OK – I still have much more to write about, including my thoughts about buying a condo, that poor barista at the 6th & Broadway Starbucks with the two horrendous black eyes, my Wednesday night at JR's for drag queen B-I-N-G-O (which I won!), how I have SIX different kinds of lip balm in my bag right now (i.e. my lip balm addiction problem), my suspicions and concerns about the possibility of someone jizzing in the hand soap dispenser in the men's room at work, and my new ultra-healthy diet, but I fear I may have pushed your patience too far as it is.
If you made it all the way through this post – congratulations! I owe you a shot!