Friday, October 07, 2005

survivor

I swear I'm not turning this blog into a reality show blog, but I just have to talk about last night's Survivor.

Is it just me, or is this season crazy homoerotic? Last night's episode opened with what basically amounted to an up-close crotch shot of one of the male players.
Then during a challenge two of the players won showers, and the cameras went in the showers with them! One of the shots was looking straight down from the showerhead, and they blurred out the dicks! I couldn't believe it – I was all - hubba hubba.
And THEN, if all that wasn't enough, Bobby Jon and another hot guy were out talking in the woods and they both whipped out their cocks and started peeing while standing right beside each other. Honestly, they were only a matter of inches apart. And they were filmed the whole time – peeing, shaking 'em off, getting 'em back in their pants, and then they shook hands! I couldn't believe it. I was touching myself a little. I'm not going to lie to you.
And don't even get me started on Jeff's forearms. *drool*

I'm a little worried about the monkeys. I'm sure the producers are just using clever editing, but they keep showing these shots of crazed-looking monkeys hovering over the camps. And I keep expecting one of them to jump on somebody's head any second and take a bite out of it like an overripe cantaloupe. I'm sure that would cause a huge ratings spike, but it would probably make me throw up, followed by sweaty nightmares for weeks. Monkeys are extra scary as it is because they can really grab onto you with those human-like hands and feet. *shudder* You can't get away, and the last sound you'll ever hear are their ear-piercing shrieks.

And I know the producers were probably just trying to give straight guys out there something to lust after as well, but enough with the titty shots of the perm-head woman. Totally saggy and inappropriate guys.

And can someone please get Gary, the former quarterback, some lip balm STAT? Jesus h. christ! I haven't seen lips that nasty since that herpes film in high school.

4 Comments:

Blogger Sven said...

I don't believe you, Mr. Reality Blogger!

3:14 PM  
Blogger denverco said...

I swear, I swear I can use my imagination to come up with an entertaining post from time to time, and not always rely on the antics of reality t.v. shows to inspire me!

4:21 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

I am so in love with you...I voiced every one of these points to greg last night...swear to god,What is with the monkey shots?Seriously? Who shakes hands with someone after peeing? I can hardly look at Gary and his lips,I asked Greg if they were in fact chapped or are they deformed in some way...anyhow,I am a sucker for Bobbi John,isin't there something really sexy about him?

8:15 PM  
Blogger denverco said...

Bobby Jon is sexy - but I'm afraid he's as dumb as a sack of rocks. I say, GO STEPHANIE!!

3:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home