Tuesday, October 11, 2005

sunday night blues

*Post written on Sunday, uploaded on Tuesday*

Hey ya’ll. I’m doing a little writing at home tonight (Sunday) because the geniuses at Fox have decided to play a baseball game instead of The Simpsons. Brilliant. My night is ruined. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

But, while channel surfing I’ve come across a magnificent alternative….

wait for it…..






















I AM MY OWN TWIN!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It has the potential to be SO disgusting and informative. Think of having this story at parties.
I’m only 5 minutes in, but here’s the setup so far: A woman gave birth to three babies with one guy and when they got a DNA test, the dad was a 90% match, but the mom was a 0% match. And she really is the mom. Fucked up huh? So…my suspicion is that she has a little absorbed twin living in her nether-regions that is releasing eggs or something.
I’ll let you know.


I was going to title this post “I hate men” but I don’t really. I love men. But I kind of got my hopes up over a couple guys the past couple weeks, and got shit on by both. Well, not shit on – that's being overly dramatic, but everything just got all scrunchy.
The friend of the sex (f.o.e) (see previous posts) is now back with his boyfriend, but there are serious shenanigans going on there. I saw them on Friday and f.o.e (after a few drinks) was less than subtle about letting me know that he considers his relationship an “interim” one and that he's feeling randy. While hypothetically this should make me excited, it actually makes me sad because I really don’t want him to be slimy. God knows that I’m not perfect, but I don’t want to do that, especially because I like his ex/now current boyfriend. He’s cool.
I did kiss f.oe. a little last night, but only because he had been at the casino all day and was WASTED and had won $87 and was totally on a high, and I was bored.

I was supposed to get a call from the boy on Saturday and I never heard from him. He had mentioned on the phone on Thursday that he felt like he was coming down with something, but thought he would fine by the weekend. I gave him a ring from the cab on my way to JR’s and left him a little breezy message. You know, “Hi ---, just calling to see what you decided to do tonight…I’m headed uptown…hope to talk soon…blah.” Didn’t ever hear back from him, but I still had a pretty good night. Found out from an acquaintance that B. had started drinking at 10 a.m. and had already passed out for the night by early evening. Poor kid – he weighs like 90 pounds. He’s like a male Calista Flockheart. He’s Mary Kate!
I hung out with a couple that know B. from the city he lives in now, and when the chick saw me she was like, “AAAAAAHHHHHHH! I know SO much about you and B. is always talking about you! Get over here you and gimme a hug and kiss, sexy!!!” With a British accent. Nice. I felt so unbelievably special and loved. Within a half hour, she had done the same exact thing to three other people. People who barely even know B. That deflated my balloon a little.
G. stopped by after she got off work, and we had a shot and a beer and gabbed, and we saw a guy we know from a while back. G. left and I hung with the guy, and we started talking and eventually realized that we both originally had plans to meet up with a boy that night, but that would no longer be happening. I said, “Yeah, my boy is really cute and he’s a social worker!” and guy was like, “Yeah, mine is too,” and I’m all “My guy is named ----“ and guy was like “mine too” and then it just got CRAZY. It was the same boy for both of us. And guy even told me that the boy was sick. What are the odds that we would be hanging out, let alone broach that subject?
So, so powerfully lame and unnecessary. I don’t know why I even had my hopes up about it. I only semi-drunkenly talked with him for about 20 minutes last weekend and about an hour on the phone this week. Bleh. Men suck ass. And not in that good way.

So I’m just going to chill and hide out at home tonight and drink wine and watch Desperate Housewives. It’s on in about 20 minutes.
It’s a totally chilly, rainy day in Denver today. I woke up at noon, had a late brunch with G., read at Tattered Cover, and worked off some major beer calories on the treadmill. I wish I had someone to just chill and get cozy with under a blanket right now. I guess I have Ernie, but I gave him a taste of my soy latte a couple of hours ago (he LOVES coffee SO MUCH) and he’s still too wound up to let me hold him.
Just chill – before you get all PETA on my ass, I only give him a teeny, tiny bit. Like, he gets to lick the lid. Gawd.
And you should hear him purr when I walk in the door and he smells that Starbucks. He’s a junkie.

I’m saving this to the hard drive. I don’t even know how I’ll get it to work unless I can find one of those old square plastic disks that I used in grad school. I don’t have the internet at home. I’m typing this on the world’s oldest, shittiest laptop that was given to me for free from a friend. Not worth doing internet junk on. Besides, if I had the internet at home I would be a total porn junkie. No one would ever see me again.
I'm not kidding – I'm filthy.

Happy Monday everyone!

Oh – and the T.V. show turned out to be boring. I don’t think I’m going to watch anymore. Too technical and slow, and I wanted to see something nast like them removing teeth and eyes from her stomach. All I’m getting is a bunch of DNA mumbo-jumbo.
Damn you baseball!!

4 Comments:

Blogger hot babe said...

a) men do suck ass- & never in a good way as far as I'm concerned (but I'm a girl)
b) that stupid Brit had no idea she already had the coolest person around before she started whoring around with other people right in front of you. She should only want to be your friend.
and c) you give Ernie coffee? Poor cat. Confused about his sexual identity AND addicted to caffeine.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

sort of broke up with my significant other in NYC this weekend, they all SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! If some other guy had planned 2 dates like it was a Brady Bunch episode, I wouldn't ever talk to him again.

10:05 AM  
Blogger denverco said...

Hotbabe - I did end up ditching that drunk British floozy. Can you imagine her nerve - not worshipping me? Hmmph!
And yeah, my cat is fucked up. But they do say pets resemble their owners....

Jason - sorry to hear about your "sort of break-up." Does that mean you might get back together? Or that you're friends with benefits now or something?
I can't help but still be drawn to this guy...there's some sort of connection. But I'm going to be very careful....

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

yeah, its more of a friend with benefits kind of thing, seems like all my relationships end up in that way, hmmmm...what am I doing wrong. I sometimes end up ruining a relationship before it even begins, sort of self deprevation b/c I don't trust anyone!!!

6:36 PM  

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