Wednesday, May 17, 2006

eyes

I'm feeling much better today. I'm still not sure exactly what was going on with me yesterday. It totally felt like symptoms of the flu, except the feelings of nausea were very brief and I had intense pain in my neck and right shoulder. Almost like the flu mixed with a pulled muscle or something.
My neck and shoulder and arm are still really sore today, though. I could barely wash my hair or get my shirt on. If I want to lift something with my right arm I have to support my right arm with my left hand.
I need muscle relaxants!
*sniffle*
*sexy pout*

I went to the eye doctor this morning. After having months and months and months to prepare for my vacation, just yesterday I decided that I must have contacts. I mean, who wants to go to the Bahamas and wear nerdy glasses around the whole time? After all, people would most certainly point and yell, "NEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRD!"
So I got my eyes checked and my eye doc hooked me up with a one-month supply of one-day-wear contacts. My vision won't be 100% perfect, but at least I can lie around in sunglasses and be all hot and shit.

But while he was checking out my left eye he let out this delighted/excited kind of chuckle. Turns out I had an eyelash stuck in one of my tear ducts. He said it was all the way down in there – so far that there was only a teeny, tiny bit of the lash sticking out of the duct. Apparently he only sees one or two cases like this PER YEAR. And he found it quite strange that I wasn't bothered enough by it to seek medical attention.
???
Either I'm one of the roughest, toughest, down and dirtiest sons-of-bitches around or I am really out of it.
I mean, who doesn't notice something like that?

He pulled it out and showed it to me and it was HUGE (I'm still talking about the lash here pervs).
I feel so clean and free!
So free of unwanted, tear duct-blocking lashes!
Now I can just cry and cry with reckless abandon!
Which I feel like doing every time I turn my head or try to lift my arm. Ouchie!
*sniffle*
*sexy pout*

9 Comments:

Blogger Big Daddy said...

'He pulled it out and showed it to me and it was HUGE'

That woulda made that the most porn-tastic story ever, if it was the pervy version.

:)

Glad you're feeling better in regards to the nausea, but sucks about your arm.

6:24 PM  
Anonymous duane said...

see, people are always, "I love your sexy long eyelashes, I wish I had sexy long eyelashes!". Well, as you know, that just means more eyelash to get in your eye! Or tear duct! Gah!

1:42 PM  
Blogger denverboy said...

I knew someone in college who had no eyelashes at all. None.
Just think of the lifetime savings on mascara!

2:04 PM  
Blogger hot babe said...

I had a similar arm/shoulder problem a couple years ago. It was a crazy muscle spasm in the muscle on my back between my shoulder blade & spine. I couldn't lift my arms & was in constant pain. I was told to take tons of advil & stand against a wall with a tennis ball between the muscle & the wall & lean into it. Pressure point something or other. I did that several times a day & paid for an emergency massage from a guy with extremely strong hands. Worth every penny.

Feel better!!!

2:22 PM  
Blogger denverboy said...

"& paid for an emergency massage from a guy with extremely strong hands."

*gasp!* HOT!

3:34 PM  
Blogger Actions and Consequences said...

You probably are bitter and numb from some older gay guy who used you as a trick and you fell for him. Now you are an emotionless queer who didn't need to ever cry because you don't have feelings.

or you are THAT rough and tumbly-RIGHT!

=-P

4:19 PM  
Blogger hot babe said...

Thw sad thing? The only happy ending was me being able to lift my arms above my head afterwards. What can I say? I'm easy to please.

6:25 AM  
Anonymous Jason said...

I used to have a crush on my eye doctor!!!! Seriously, it was like Christmas everytime I went in there, and that was since I was 9!!!!

4:39 AM  
Blogger Sven said...

Maybe, it was the eye lash that was causing you to feel sick?

Huh?

Yeah?

12:58 PM  

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