whine

I feel like shit today.
I need some free, unprofessional medical diagnoses.

I've had a headache on and off since Sunday afternoon. This is really strange for me because I rarely, if ever, get a headache.
The right side of my neck is super tight and sore and I've got twitching action going on there.
I feel slightly nauseous.
Things taste weird – like when I was brushing my tongue this morning or when I'm sipping on a Diet Pepsi. Everything tastes really funny.
And I feel really tired. I was tossing and turning last night.

So what the hell is going on?
Crazy mutant allergies?
Lyme disease?
A brain tumor?
Outlandish diva-like complaining?