Thursday, January 05, 2006

Things I'm thinking about: Old-school crabby-style

1. I'm gay but I hate the song "Relax." Seriously, I hear just a teeny-tiny little bit of the beginning and I get inexplicably pissed-off.

2. I don't understand how someone on the mall ride who's not homeless could have such violent morning breath. Violent morning breath at 7:45?? Keep your goddamn mouth closed for christ's sake! It smells like you ate shit and gasoline for breakfast!! I almost said something to this particular gentleman because I was literally starting to dry heave, but I hate confrontation, especially before I've had some caffeine.
(It's even worse because I'm always very careful to have good breath for people. And violent morning breath is closely followed in disgustingness by coffee breath. Bleh! God and science gave us the breath mint dammit and now it's up to us to use it!)

3. Ever since returning from my Xmas break I've been a crabby zombie every morning at work. I'm just so, SO crabby. If someone says "Good morning" to me I want to punch them in the neck. After having a grande drip for breakfast three days in a row I now have to admit that I'm officially back on coffee. I'm not proud of it…but whatever. Suck it.

4. The architect who works directly behind me is a constant tapper and be-bopper while he works. Even if he's not listening to music he's constantly tapping his fingers and palm on his desk. It's driving me crazy!
I feel as if it would be hypocritical for me to say anything to him, however, due to my own annoying whistling habit. I can't help it – my grandfather is a whistler, my dad is a whistler, and now so am I.
I'm sorry, but I happen to believe in annoying family traditions.

5. Why is it that when you're working in a Word document and you highlight one particular section of text to change the font or color or size or whatever it will suddenly change a bunch of other junk you didn't want to change and then you have to hit Ctrl-Z to change everything back??
Why can we put a man on the moon (supposedly) and I constantly have to use Ctrl-Z???

6. Why does our president think he can just say, "Because I said so" and we're all supposed to let him get away with whatever the fuck he wants to - like he's our parent and we're misbehaving grade-schoolers?
"I'm the president and I said so, so shut the fuck up and deal with it my minions."
Ugh – is it 2008 yet?

7. My coworker mentioned that he saw a TV news story about the connection between communal ice-makers (which my firm has) and e coli. I stopped him right there, but now I'm afraid I'm going to have to drink tepid water out of my Nalgene bottle for the rest of my working life. And I love icy cold water.

8. If I had left five minutes earlier I'd be at the gym right now. But since I didn’t, "The Man" grabbed me to prepare a last-minute presentation that needs to be done by noon tomorrow.

4 Comments:

Blogger Sven said...

Masturbation.

It is the answer to all your problems.

11:14 AM  
Blogger denverco said...

Ha - how true!
I probably need a good spank and tickle with a boy too.
When you really need it, you can never find it though.

3:51 PM  
Blogger hot babe said...

You're a whistler? At the office? I'd strangle you & hide the body where no one could find it.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous denverboy said...

Ha! Yay!
I'm so glad you posted a crabby comment on my crabby post hotbabe!

OK - I will TRY to refrain from my joyous whistling so my body doesn't end up at the bottom of the Platte River.

9:26 AM  

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