Thursday, December 15, 2005

whole lotta nothing

It seems like every other blog I check out these days has a message saying "I haven't really been into posting lately, but hopefully will be back soon…."
I feel the same way.

As fascinating as my mundane life is I know nobody really wants to log onto my blog to read:
Today was fun. I woke up, fed my cat, and then took the mall ride to work where I updated project profiles for two hours. After that I edited our client reference list and spent the rest of the afternoon reconfiguring the airport qualifications package.
I had lunch from Quizno's. The Cabo Chicken without onions. I stopped at RiteAid on the way home and bought soap and razors and Tilex. When I got home I cleaned my shower and then I watched the finale of The Amazing Race. I also played computer solitaire. I won twice. Then I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then I went to bed!

Bleh – that's my life lately. If it's not a Friday or Saturday night you'll probably find me being a big homebody loser. And nobody cares about that. Except Ernie. He's happy I'm spending more time at home.

But…here goes an attempt to put something – anything – interesting out there so ya'll know I'm still alive and kickin':

Yesterday I attempted to start my xmas shopping. I took off of work a couple of hours early and made my way up 16th St. Mall. Luckily, my list is fairly small. My mom, my dad, my sister, Hailey, my sister's boyfriend, and my grandpa. I've already purchased G.'s present online. And that's it. All other gifts for additional friends will be in the form of a shot.
So I started at Forever 21 to find something cute for my sister. My sister lives in our hometown in S.D. – which is extremely limited fashion-wise – and she also never buys clothes for herself, having a kid and all. I did end up finding something for her, but I have to admit my real reason for stopping by was to say hi to a cutie I know who works there. He's hot, sweet, stylish and…Hispanic. Yum! So we talked, flirted a bit, he invited me to go to The Wave last night. Um, yuck. Not a big fan.
Then I hit the Gap to try to find something for my dad, but hated everything. So I walked over to Virgin, but it was full of twats so I fled. Then I stopped by The Children's Place to get an outfit for Hailey but there were kids having temper-tantrums in there and I couldn't handle it. So I finally just gave up and went to MetroBoom and bought a new shirt for myself. Then I went to the gym. And that was my kick-off to xmas shopping!

I saw a new commercial for Fascinations stores – a chain of porno stores here in Denver – last night that I love, but I fear may confuse young children who view it. Mrs. Claus is lying in bed and Santa brings her a present of a tiny red thong that obviously won't even come close to fitting her, then they intersperse a shot of Santa holding up underwear in front of his crotch in the store, and it ends with the Clauses in bed about to get byz-zaay and Rudolph walks in on them, his red nose illuminates the dark room, and Santa yells, "Get out of here Rudolph!" So dirty.
I'd never thought about Santa with an erect penis before. Now I can't stop thinking about him as a magical, all-knowing, jolly, sexy bear!

So I'm going out with the gay guy in my building tonight. I couldn't avoid it any longer. I see him almost every day and it was just getting so uncomfortable.
I'm sure it will be fine and we'll end up being buds – I just really hope he doesn't think this is a date. I think I'm going to drop a couple false references about how I'm getting over a nasty bout of syphilis or crabs or something. Just to be safe. And then start scratching my crotch like crazy. Yeah – that's the ticket!


Blogger Kiddo78 said...

I hear ya about the unblogworthy week nights going by one after another. I wonder what formerly inspired me to post...All I could really post about now is what episode of Mary Tyler Moore was on that night. Fun, huh?? Speaking of, I better go watch it before bed.

12:08 AM  

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